Have you ever noticed...

Here are a few things that I´ve noticed along the way that I thought were kind of interesting.

Peruvians can whip the Irishs´ass in a potato fight -- Here the potato is King. Well ok, maybe corn is King but the potato is at least the Court Jester. You get it with every meal. Mashed, diced, french fried or formed into balls, you can expect a plate full of tubers with every meal. I´ve got so much starch in me I feel like I belong in a Chinese dry cleaners.

Move it or lose it -- Don´t mess around with the drivers around here. They are not joking. Unlike Vietnam where you step off the curb and the vehicles drive around you, here it looks like they aim for you. It´s like a real life game of Frogger. And they barrel down these little one-way cobblestoned side streets like they are highways. I´m sitting in the lobby of the hotel typing this and all I can see are blurs of the cars flying by outside.

My boogers are works of art -- Much like Russia, the emissions restrictions in this country are nil. I think all of the taxis are 1990 Ford Festivas that burn more oil than in Kuwait during Desert Storm. Even the train we took the other day sent out huge plumes of black smoke that made their way into the train cars. Because of this I´ve pulled things out of my nose that would impress any abstract artist. I´ve started to work with the local children to sell my boogers instead of postcards. It´s a niche market that hasn´t been tapped yet.

Bob Barker would hate it here -- The Humane Society needs to open up a branch office here to take care of the huge dog population that roams through the streets. They are all over. Everything from boxers, german shepherds and muts to what look like goldens just running all over the place. And I gotta tell you, some of these dogs are carrying a set on them that would make any female dog blush.

Everybody pees -- I´ve decided to write a companion book to "Everybody Poops" and "The Gas We Pass" entitled "Everybody Pees...in the Toilet" in the hope that I won´t have to pass another corner and see a middle aged man peeing in public. So far I´ve seen at least two or three men watering the walls around here, and at least that many on the side of the country roads.

More to come.

B