So four naked guys walk into a room...

Went to see Lenin today. His tomb is open on a daily basis and people line up to walk passed the guy for 30 seconds. Leave it to Greg to get whistled at by the cops again. He had his hands in his pockets and was acting shifty which I have to agree is a flaw that Greg has, and the cop told him to keep 'em where he could see 'em.

Lenin's body was in amazing condition. I hear they take him in for service every 12 months or 100,000 visitors whichever comes first and dip him in parafin wax to preserve him. Keep up the good work comrades, the ol man looks good.

We also toured the Armory today which is inside the Kremlin and is a museum that holds Russian antiquities like some of the Fabriege Eggs, gold and silver and old clothes of the Russian rulers. We tripped the sensors in the room with the old horse drawn coaches in it. I guess we reached out a little too far or leaned in too close to get a better look and a siren went off and a Do Not Touch light flashed. Then came the recorded voice in Russian telling us to back off. We were also scolded by an older woman when we apparently got in her way while she was trying to explain to a class of school children about some of the pieces. I couldn't understand a word she said but I knew she wanted us to move our asses so her kids could see. Man, you can't take us anywhere.

The highlight of the day came when we all went to the Sandunovskie Banya which was built in 1896 and is Moscow's oldest bathhouse. Now for those of you who don't want to hear me go into great detail about Dave's Rubenesque figure or Tommy's uncanny likeness to The Simpson's Mr. Burns sans liver spots please skip ahead several paragraphs.

It was definitely an experience. We all stripped down -- I'll take a break right here for all you ladies out there. You just take your time envisioning that scene.

And we're back. We walked into the steam room or as I like to call it - the small room where I nearly died in the midst of 20 naked Russian men. My God that place was hot. I could only take about 5 - 10 min at a time before I had to walk out and under a cold shower or into the tank of cold water. If you ladies are still envisioning the scene and are wondering what just happened after I got into the cold water, please be aware that cold water has detrimental effects on certain parts of a man's anatomy. And the water I was under was super cold. Just keep that in mind.

As part of the bathhouse ritual, guys beat each other with birch branches that had been sitting in water buckets getting soft. I know what you're thinking. This sounds a little "off" to me. And I hear ya, believe me. But, when in Rome... So we all beat the Hell out of each other with birch branched. And we got off easy compared to how some of the guys in the place were getting smacked around. You could even pay somebody to be your personal "birch branch beater".

Would I do it again. You bet. I felt really relaxed afterward.

Well tonight we leave Moscow and take a train to St. Petersburg. More to come from there.

Sorry there are no pictures. We aren't able to download anything on these computers. Maybe at the next place.

B